RJTaffyLeonDosolusCollegekid

The Day the FONV Canon Characters and OC's worlds went upside down.



(and these will be UTTER craptastic but trust me. Read until the end. It will make sense then, all these little drabbles of pure shit. I couldn't ask for permission regarding OC's for a good reason, but turn on your humor. DO IT.)

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It had been a long day in the Fort and pretty much everyone was ready to drop over from exhaustion. Kurt was lying on his bed, looking through some old prewar books for the hell of it. His shirt was off so he could catch the occasional breeze which would come through his tent and also because the man despised wearing anything dirty.

A few moments later, he felt the familiar touch run up his back, teasing over his spine and his eyes closed as a small smile graced his lips. Adrian. When Kurt felt the mans weight move over his back as he leaned over to whisper a greeting into the Frumentarian's ear, Kurt set down the book and let out a soft sigh. "We need to talk, Adrian....."

Sensing the tone, Adrian sat up, worry marking his brow. "What's wrong, Kurt?"

"Well... I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and.. I'm just really not all that into you anymore. It's not YOU," He added quickly to Adrian's falling face, "so please don't think that. I just... I don't know. I kind of prefer the slave girls a little more and would prefer to keep it like that. Adrian," He took the other mans hands in his own, studying his eyes, "I - well. I think I'm straight. No, I know I am. I'm so sorry but we just can't be anymore."

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Meanwhile, in the main tent, Caesar was listening to Arcade talk about the usual stuff, a bored look upon the dictator's face. Noticing, Arcade grew silent and asked, "What is it? Is my boring self finally catching up with you? Starting to realize I'm not all that after all?" When he got no reply, he pressed on, "It's because I burn in the sun, right?"

Caesar finally gave the man a long look and let out a sound which seemed almost regretful. "As much as I've enjoyed your intelligence and our discussions, it's just not doing it for me any more. I'd almost rather talk to Antony if truth be told."

One could have heard a pin drop. Arcade knew who Antony was and blinked. Twice. "You... prefer Antony over..me? Really? That's interesting. May I ask why?" He was baffled. Antony was dumber than a box of rocks. Everyone knew this.

"People change their likes and dislikes, Arcade. But sadly, because you bore me, I'll have to let you go."

"Crucifixion, hm?" Arcade couldn't think of a witty retort to that one, but again he found himself blinking in shocked silence when Caesar shook his head. "No, no crucifixion. I'm letting you go. Free. Away from here."

Pins didn't drop but the silence definitely was deafening.

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Boone loved his family beyond description. There was nothing he wouldn't have done or given to Andromeda and their children. The man had had it all ever since meeting the Courier, even though it took months and months and months to figure it all out.

Yet something was missing. For a while the Sniper couldn't put a finger on it but one day it hit him. He called Andy into their bedroom and had her sit.

Pacing, the man was tongue-tied, unable to talk, didn't know what to do, but finally he blurted out, "I just don't love you anymore, Andy. I don't know when it happened or when it came to be but... god... this is tearing me up inside and I know it's going to affect you even more but," He shrugged helplessly as the Courier just stared up at him like he was telling her he was joining the Legion, "I'm desperately in love with Manny. I have only had him on my mind and it's just not fair to us. At all. You. The kids. Even me. I can't live this lie, Hon. I really can't."

She just stared at him in shock, unable to find words.

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Dosolus threw his weapon down, cursing like a sailor, and strode in to the Barracks in Camp Nelson, calling out for Dead Sea. The Decanus came out of the back room, seeing his highest in charge next to himself was upset about something. "Have a seat. What's the problem, Dosolus?"

The raven haired man shot a look of pure loathing at Dead Sea and snarled, "I'm sick of it, that's what. All the bullshit I have to go through day in and day out while YOU get all the recognition for it? Fuck that. I'm sick of it. SICK. From now on, any slave that comes here is going to be treated like gold. Given the best food, all they can eat, the best accommodations, and we're going to treat them like we would treat Lanius if he came for a visit. I'm sick of this shit of treating them like sub-human waste."

Dead Sea just blinked, took off his Decanus helmet and blinked again. His jaw was about on the floor and he finally got out, "You've got to be fucking with me, Dosolus. Maybe it's an illness you have? Maybe take the day off and rest. That should do you - "

"Fuck that." Dosolus slammed his hands down on the table in front of him. "You just don't get it, do you? I'm tired of us taking shit by force, having our way with women, killing innocent people just to advance..." He glared at the still confused Decanus. "I want no more of it. No more. Hear me?"

Pins were being dropped everywhere in the Mojave, it seemed.

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Vulpes had finally had Aime where he wanted her, after months of ceaseless tracking and avoiding that sniper. Finally he was able to tell her what he'd wanted to tell her for so long already. The time had come, the situation was perfect. The sniper wasn't around anywhere and Vulpes was alone with the Courier. He'd kept an eye on her since seeing her shot in the head by Benny and had always found ways to cross paths with her.

She showed a hostile air around him despite her gentle ways with him; like when she fixed his shoulder when she accidentally shot him at REPCON and when she fell on him that one time. Something he never forgot, to be honest.

Finally cornering Aime after slicing the throats of three Fiends who were going to have her for dinner, Vulpes sheathed his ripper and turned to her. "I wish to talk with you and answer your question which has been plaguing you for so long now."

"Why you keep stalking me, you mean?" She asked and he nodded.

"Precisely."

"Well?" She prompted after he was quiet for a few moments.

"It's simple. Caesar has, for a trial basis, decided to allow females to fight in the Legion as equal as any man. I nominated you and, from what I've seen so far, you're perfect for the trial."

Pin drop. Yet again. Finally Aime got out, "You're kidding, right?"

Vulpes let a small smile touch his lips.

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Elder Nolan McNamara was busy in his office, gathering his papers and such together when he finally paused and got on his newest acquisition; a working intercom which allowed him to speak to everyone at once throughout the entire BoS bunker.

"May I have everyone's attention please? I've thought long and hard and spent many a sleepless night thinking this over. Under new circumstances, I have decided to open up the Bunker so everyone can come and go as they please. HOWEVER, the stipulation to me doing this is that the NCR will be coming in to take over and all of us will enlist under the NCR. This will be the end of the Brotherhood of Steel - something which should have been done years upon years ago. We are going no where as we sit here, and to dissolve the Brotherhood is a wise move. For us to become a part of the NCR will offer us much more opportunities to advance and grow. I apologize for keeping you all in the dark for so long. I also must admit I never was afraid to leave the Bunker. Matter of fact, now you'll know why I have my tan. Those times I have my alone periods in my office for 5 hours out of the day, I'm actually out and about speaking with the NCR and learning about the outside world."

TOTAL pin drop, the silence was so strong in the entire Bunker, one would have thought it had been abandoned for years.

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In the dead silence of the Mojave, where even the sounds of New Vegas ceased to be, a sudden sound of laughter flowed over the desert, hitting all four corners of the desert and every place in between.

The little snippets we read about above were just a few of the hundreds upon hundreds being told throughout the lands, and rest assured, those who were laughing were being totally glared at by those who were not.

Most of the ones laughing ended up ducking various items thrown at them, or fists of "I can't believe you just DID that" pounding against their chests, or just staring blankly as it slowly hit them what had happened.

Kurt was laughing, Caesar was laughing, Boone was laughing, Dosolus, Vulpes and Nolan were laughing, and in their own way, let out their one final bit of information which made it all click:

"LOL April Fools!!!!"

War.
War never changes.
Sometimes, even prewar holidays don't either.


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and now you see why I couldn't ask permission beforehand to use the OC's because then I'd have to tell you why and it wouldn't have been a surprise. XDDDDD